Getting So Big

Connor loves to nurse now and is getting much better at it. We tried to give him a bottle the other day in the car and he was not very interested. When he is hungry he pretty much will not take the pacifier because he knows that food doesn't come from there. We usually try to give him the pacifier when we change his diaper to help him get through it and when he takes it, he sucks it really hard and grunts to tell us he still doesn't like what we are doing. 

One of Connor's newest tricks is that he is learning to lock his legs so he can stand. They used to automatically go to the froggy position as soon as you picked him up. 

He hates his car seat and cries the hardest I've ever seen him do unless you put him in asleep or very sleepy and help him fall asleep. Then he sleeps like a baby until he gets hungry. I hope he can learn to like it or put himself to sleep because it makes me feel bad to take him anywhere unless he is down for a nap or someone is in the back seat with him. 

^ I tried to make the head rest the same size so you can see how much he has grown. 6 weeks vs 3 days old. 

Sleeping Like a Baby

Logan and I have a lot of fun watching all the funny things Connor does and all the faces he makes while he is sleeping. He already is great entertainment! 

 ^Adorable little sleeper.

^Funny waking up faces. He really makes the kissy face every time! It cracks me up! 

^This afternoon, he kicked his way all the way out of his swaddle and his head off the couch. Don't worry we were watching him the whole time. You know we are good parents because we take pictures and then save our son. Last time we will have the "nest" facing out.

^He is a free spirit! He loves his hands out or by his head even though his flailing wakes himself up. 

First Bath

Connor had his first bath today! It went well enough. We mostly tried to make it as fast as we could and keep his pacifier in. He didn't love it and made some pretty funny faces but I think he did a good job. 

His favorite part was getting out. haha. As soon as I wrapped him up in his towel he was happy again.

My favorite part was that after we dried him off, his hair was all fluffy!

We also went on our first walk! Well, we only went over to Claire's house and he was asleep but it counts. I got him all cozy in his sling and enjoyed getting out of the house.

 After a long day it is nice to kick back and relax.

One Week

Connor Reese Dixon is now one week old! Life will definitely never be the same. Since he has been eating better, Connor has been a great baby! He mostly only cries when we change his diaper/clothes. I love that he sleeps for 3+ hours each nap. We have to wake him up to eat. Once a day so far, he will eat and then not sleep for an hour or two until he eats again. This is the only time he is a little fussy. 

I love his face expressions! He has so many. My fav is when he pops his eye brows up real high and looks straight at you all wide eyed. Below, is my favorite of his smiles. 

Connor sleeps amazingly downstairs (especially with the tv on). The only problem is that I don't sleep well with him. This is because I still wake at every sound and have to check on him to make sure he is breathing. The last two nights Logan and I just took turns sleeping on the couch and the other person upstairs in bed. I have now gotten so much more sleep! It is also great that Logan can help with feeding the baby while I sleep. We have brought the bassinet downstairs so that he can get used to it and then eventually we will bring it upstairs. Hopefully then, he will sleep just as well up there. It is great that Logan can help with feedings but with pumping I still have to get up every three hours. 

Speaking of pumping, it is going well. I actually pump double feedings each time. Connor eats about 1 oz, 8 times a day and I make 2 - 2 1/2 oz each pumping. Of course my breasts are also very tinder. 

He takes the bottle so well and loves to stare into the eyes of whomever is feeding him. I'm glad Logan gets some bonding time too.

When he is done eating he loves to curl up in the middle of our chests with his head always to his left. If you put him up on your shoulder, he will still find his way down until he is right in that spot. Then he gets burped and thats where he falls asleep.

Today we took our first trip out as a family (besides going to the hospital) to meet with some of Logan's co-workers so they could give us their baby present (diaper cake/little toys). It is fun showing off my sweet little baby! 

He really does have a lot of hair on the back of his head. It is pretty much the same color as Logan's. Its just that his skin is really pink that it looks more red in this pic.  

He is really squirmy and has a habit of grabbing his face and has given himself little scratches. So this week he also got his nails cut for the first time. It took forever but I hope it helps. We also keep him in mittens most of the time.

I bought this onesie just for my sisters. It was really really hard getting a pic of it with him squirming all the time. Amazingly I got a pic of his legs out because they are almost always tucked up by his tummy. 

Our schedule is watch how cute baby is when he is sleeping, waking him to change his diaper and take a bottle, and then we snuggle until he is asleep again. Some where in there we try to sleep and take a nap. Tomorrow, I think we will give him his first "cloth" bath. He still can't be submerged because of his circumcision and umbilical cord. 

So after coming home from the hospital that is pretty much what we have been doing this week. We love this little boy! 

Four Days Old

I can't stop staring! Seriously. I love this baby!! 

Our first night was pretty hard. All the progress we made on nursing stopped and went back two steps. Very frustrating for both of is but mostly sad because my baby is so hungry! My milk is starting to come in and my preemie is too small to latch. It breaks my heart! 

We had his first check up today (funny caz we only left the hospital yesterday) but I was really grateful because I got to talk to a pediatrician about Connor's nursing. He got weighed and has lost 12% of his body weight (5 lbs 2 oz now)! My poor baby! 

They said I need to bottle supplement his feeding until he at least gets back to his birth weight. So he is supposed to eat 1 oz each feeding. I'm pumping and then supposed to use formula to fill in what I don't produce. I can still introduce the breast so hopefully when he gets a little bigger we can nurse exclusively again but right now I just need to know he I getting what he needs. 

After we left, I was on a mission to feed my baby! I got some more bottles and formula on the way home and tried my pump for the first time. 

This was the first bottle I pumped. Very proud of this homemade meal. Since then, I've found I only pump about 1/2 to 3/4 oz right now but that's as much as he has eaten at each feeding. Hopefully he can start eating more and work up to a full ounce. 

Since then feeding has gone so much better! He is sleeping great and I'm hoping tonight will be better too. (Last night I only got about 1 1/2 hours of sleep.) It was nice to have Logan help me feed him and after Connor was so happy! 

We have to go back to the hospital tomorrow for another weight check up. Hoping he stops loosing weight and we can make some progress. 

I'm also getting a lot of the baby blues thanks to my hormones. I will be ok. I just need more sleep probably and the feeding thing has been stressing me out a bit. Good news is that my belly is shrinking, I'm healing well and my heartburn is completely gone. 

I also have the best supporter ever and love that Logan has been able to take baby leave to help me out. He helps me all day and night. He also helps me emotionally. I had a game plan for when baby came and knew not everything would go the way I wanted but he helps me to remember that that's ok. I didn't think we would have a preemie and that has brought in some extra issues but over all I have the most beautiful baby who is doing amazingly well overall for being so young. 

First Day Home

Brought our beautiful baby boy home this afternoon! His coming home outfit was way too big but we are so blessed he is so healthy!

When we left the hospital we officially named him Connor Reese Dixon :)

We have been finishing getting the house ready (I still thought I had a month!) and seeing what my little guy fits in. The onesie is the only preemie thing we own. His hat may fit in a few months though. 

Lots and lots of snuggles today! Below he has his foot in his mouth! Haha. That's a talent! Also kinda sad he would rather suck on that then my boob. 

I don't have my milk in yet so it just breaks my heart when I finish feeding him and hear his tummy rumble! He has been kinda frustrating for both of us. He gets so mad he can't stay latched and I feel bad I'm starving him. But then we will have a really good feeding and both of us feel better. We just need more practice. 

Tonight he did so well and nursed for almost a solid 20 minutes! Then I got him ready for bed but not before some more snuggles! Something I love about him so much are his little super high pitches whines. It makes me just never want to put him down!

Connor's Birth Story

Sunday

So literally the night before my baby was born, I wanted to get a 36 week picture. I was at 36 weeks and 1 day. I had taken a late shower that Sunday and even thought if I have my baby tonight, at least my hair will look nice - never thinking it would actually be true! Anyway, it was already dark outside so Logan got some with me in the nursery. Look at that bump! 

Later that night, as I was getting ready for bed I noticed for the first time that I had finally gotten several stretch marks! Aw man, I almost thought I would make it all the way through my pregnancy without getting any.

Monday
2:00am
We went to bed and several hours later at almost exactly 2:00am I got up because it felt like I had to pee really, really bad. I went to the bathroom and when I was done, I stood up but before I even got my pants up there was a whoosh of fluid that fell into the toilet! I was a little shocked but knew exactly what it was right away. My water had broke.

I put on a pad and walked over to where Logan was peacefully sleeping in bed. I woke him and said "my water broke" to which he replied "are you serious?!". I told him I was going to call he Dr and he needed to help me pack. Logan got right up and got to work.

Normally they would let women labor at home longer but because I was only 36 weeks they wanted me to come in to check.

When we got into the car, I think this was when it started to really sink in for Logan. I could tell he really felt an urgency to get me to the hospital (he drove there pretty fast). In the car my contractions also slowed down.

4:30am
We walked into the hospital at about 4:30am. They took me into triage and hooked me up to the monitors. While we waited, Logan and me filled out my birth plan. haha. We had actually planned on doing it that night for FHE.

5:15am
They did an exam and then brought in a sonogram to check to see if my water had broke. The nurse had the wand on my stomach for about 2 seconds and said, yes it is.

5:39am
The Doctor came in and said that because my water had broke it there was more risk to try and stop him from coming then to just have him. She said "you are not going home without a baby". She checked my cervix and I was at one cm dilated. They admitted me and wheeled me in to a delivery room. I was really happy that I got an ocean view room.

6:00am
I got my IV put in. I was supposed to go in the next day for my 36 week check up and to finish my labs but that obviously wasn't happening so they error on the side of caution and gave me penicillin as if I had tested positive for the Beta Strep B test. I really hated how the penicillin made my hand with the IV in it hurt.

I had tried eating some muffins before getting to the hospital but eating that early in the morning made me feel kinda sick so I didn't get much down. By the early morning I was so hungry! I asked if I could eat anything. They usually don't let you but were nice enough to bring me "breakfast". It consisted of broth, tea, jello and two juice boxes. Not much but I was so grateful for it!  

 

A lot of my morning was also spent walking to the bathroom. I felt like I constantly had to pee and going really helped with the pressure and helped me feel better. Pretty much every time that the nurse or corpsman came in to check on me I had them unhook me from the monitors, take off my pressure cuff and let me walk to the bathroom with my IV stand and cords. 

Another thing we did that morning was watch the contractions monitor. It is the line on the right side. Each peak is a contraction (the parts where it goes crazy up and down is when I change positions in bed). It took me a long time to get regular contractions.

9:53am

I found out that for me the way that I was able to handle the pain was to be in a "non" state as much as possible. Early on, one of the nurses said to "surrender to the contractions" and somehow that made sense to me and helped a lot. Most of the day I just spent laying in the bed. I was surprised I didn't want anything to distract me and I didn't really sleep much. I just chilled. When I was in that state I really didn't feel that many contractions. Logan hung out by me for a while but I didn't really need him at this point so I let him watch 24 on his laptop for several hours. 

At this point I was still doing really well with the contractions. Thats why I was shocked when they came to check me that I had gone from 1 to 4 cm dilated 60-70% effaced. The nurse said that was a great amount of progress in 4 hours and that usually this first part was the longest. 

2:09pm
It wasn't until the later that afternoon did I start to feel uncomfortable with the contractions because they would wake me from my non state. I started to ask about an epidural. I had to get interviewed by the anesthesiologist to see if I was a good candidate and sign some paper work saying I understood the risks.

I still was handling the pain pretty well but they told me that there were now two other girls that were wanting epidurals so if I didn't want to wait, I should get mine now.

I sat on the edge of the bed and they had Logan sit on a stool right in front of me where my feet rested on his legs. They said the numbing shot would be the worst part. It wasn't for me though. I started getting lots of sharp pain the the mid right side of my back. I have to admit it freaked me out and really hurt. It was hurting so bad the guy gave me another numbing shot. He finished and then the pain finally started to go away once they hooked it up to the IV.

Later I asked the anesthesiologist if they usually have to do more than one numbing shot and he said not often, maybe one in 20. He said it probably was because I was a redhead. He said he did hit a vein that made me bleed pretty bad but the pain was probably from a muscle spasm. Either way, I was still really glad I got the epidural because it kept me from feeling the contractions for a long time.

Logan was teasing me about the hair net I had to put on while they put in the epidural so I put it on him and made him get a pic too.

They checked me again and at this point. I joked that I wanted to be 8 cm so I could have this baby before dinner.  I had only gotten to 5 cm dilated so they said in a few hours they would put me on Pitocin.

With the epidural in and not being able to feel any more pain I was pretty happy the rest of the afternoon. I watched Parks and Recreation and The Big Bang Theory on TV, put on my makeup and took a nap. 

 

I thought it was funny that once the epidural took away the contraction pain, my IV with the Penicillin was what hurt the most. The nurse ran some saline solution through it to help it feel better.

3:55pm

First dose of Pitocin. Throughout the day they upped my dosage three times. The first two I never felt a thing. We kept hanging out and I tried to get some sleep because I knew I would need it later. 

6:19pm

The chair you see Logan in reclines into a bed. I got in it once and it was the most uncomfortable thing ever. I feel like they could do better to help the dads feel more comfortable but Logan never complained. 

As night fell, we watched a beautiful sunset. 

7:30pm

I got my third dose of Pitocin and not too long after that, I slowly started to feel contractions again for the first time. It started off slowly like the first contractions I felt as I went into labor and they continued to get worse. 

8:22pm

They told me when I got there that because my water had broke, it was really easy for me to get an infection so they didn't check my cervix very often. My contractions were finally starting to come at regular intervals (moving into active labor) so they checked me. I was dilated to a 6.5 cm. 

8:45pm

My contractions now were getting worse then what I was feeling before I had the epidural. Epidurals work with gravity meaning that they tend to flow down. The whole time I could feel that my right side was more numb.  The epidural drip did have a function where you could push a button for an extra dose. I had the nurse push it for the first time. 

With the contractions now the baby's heartbeat would dip, so they put me on oxygen and had me switch from one side to the other to see if my position would help him. After doing that several times they said that the baby did the best when I was on my right side. So I had to stay on that side. Remember that the epidural was already working better on that side so as it continued to flow more to the right, my left side got a lot of the feeling back. I could only feel contractions on half of my body but it might have been the whole thing because they really hurt. Unfortunately, there wasn't much the nurses could do. 

9:11pm

They took me off the oxygen and I had them give me another temporary extra dose of the epidural. Around now another anesthesiologist came in because I was complaining from the pain. He said that there wasn't much they could do because I had to stay on my right side but they would make me as comfortable as possible. They did say it might be time to give me a stronger batch of epidural. He left. My contractions now were getting extremely intense. 

9:40

This half hour was the worst part of my whole labor and life. I had gone from active labor to transitional labor (transition contractions are the ones right before you are fully dilated and feel ready to push). At the time though, I didn't know that I was that close because the last time they checked, I wasn't that far. 

I had to really work through each contraction. I really only remember seeing Logan's face. He was beside me stroking my head and holding my hand. As each contraction ramped up it made it hard to think or breath. I didn't feel in control of myself at all. Time was stretched out and felt like forever. I kinda felt like I was loosing it but Logan said that I actually didn't do that bad. He said I didn't cry, squeeze the crap out of his hand or yell but was just kinda whimpering. I do remember Logan helped me to breath deeply and would breath with me so I could mimic him and get through each contraction. I was lucky to still get a little bit of time in between each one where I could refocus. 

10:00

I remember them saying something about how that they almost had my meds ready and the nurse asked how I was. I told her that I was feeling a lot of pressure now. She asked where and I told her down below. It had been a while since I had last been checked so she decided to see where I was at. I remember her being kinda excited when she told me that I couldn't get the extra epidural medications now (it would make the baby lethargic instead of awake and alert when he came) because I had done it! I was 10 cm dilated and %100 effaced! I was surprised I had gotten there too. 

The only problem was that the Doctor was in another room delivering a baby so they said I had to wait. The nurse said that they were not expecting the baby to come flying out but because I was so early the baby could come pretty quick. Waiting was really hard. As I did, I could feel the head moving down further into my pelvis with each contraction. I could feel so much pressure! In my class they said some women don't feel the need to push right away and get some rest at this point. That was not so with me. 

10:10

Dr Dicarlo finally came in and got set up. They broke the bottom part of my bed down, took the removable cushion off and pulled the stirrups out. Logan said they put a huge bag under me to catch everything. I thought it was so weird that she could put her hands in and feel around and to tell what way the baby was facing. 

Then it was time to start pushing!! I remember there was so much pressure and pain from the contractions as I tried NOT to push - I was very glad I was finally able to. Each time I had a contraction, they had me take a breath, hold it in, and the nurse would count to 10. I would breath out, take a deep breath and push again right away. I did this three times in a row each contraction. 

After I started pushing all the pain and a lot of the pressure was completely gone. For the first time, I didn't really feel pain, it just felt like there was a head sticking out of me (it wasn't but it felt like it was already 2 inches out). I felt very focused on the job at hand and calm. Also once I started to push, my contractions slowed down. I remember Logan holding one leg, the nurse holding the other and all of them just watching and waiting for a big enough contraction to come along for me to push. I could tell as one came before they saw it but often the Doctor said to wait until it built up enough. I felt like there was a lot of waiting in between each contraction and pushing. 

The baby's heartbeat was dipping again so I got put back on the oxygen mask. I really hated it in my face. They told me to take it off as I pushed and I found that to be really distracting. As another way to help me push they asked if I wanted the mirror to see my progress. So I had them bring it out. After one set of pushing I told them to take it away. It was also too distracting - I couldn't look up at it and focus on pushing at the same time. 

Each time I pushed they told me what a good job I was doing. I didn't care if that was true or not, I was happy to hear it.  

At about 10:55 the doctor said she wanted the baby to come on the next push. I think Connor was starting to get stressed now. I pushed and he didn't come. We waited for another really big contraction and I pushed but he didn't come. This is when the Dr gave me an episiotomy - not a big one but enough to help Connor get out faster. 

Finally I got another large contraction and pushed about five times in a row until I could feel my baby's little body sliding out. 

11:03pm

Connor was born! They put him up on my chest right away and I was just amazed, happy and couldn't believe how much I already loved this little guy! Connor was crying a little bit and one of the nurses came with a bulb syringe and sucked out some fluid in his mouth and then he really cried! They all seemed happy to hear his lungs were good. I remember thinking that he didn't look like Logan or me at all but I knew he was kinda squished and would change. Logan got to cut the cord. 

I got to hold him a while skin to skin while they did his first checks but because he was born early they took him to check all his vitals and see how he was doing. The Doctor stayed and stitched me up. 

Poor Logan had to wait until the nurses were done to get to hold his son for the first time. One thing Logan told me about was that he put his finger down by Connor and Connor grabbed onto it and held it tightly in his little hand.

Logan is so happy and proud to be a father! I loved seeing them together. My boys! We are a mommy and daddy now!

We named him Connor Reese Dixon.